Home Sweet Home

My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost 2 months and I have to say that everything is great. It feels as though we have been living together our entire lives. Of course there are things that he does that get on my nerves, but there are things that I do that get on his nerves, too.
I hope that this is a sign for the future. I have not seen a dip in any place in the relationship. The sex is still wonderful, he helps me clean, and he cooks on days when I get home later than normal.
What more can I say besides *sigh*.

Is this it?

Okay, I had a talk with my boyfriend and I have not been worried about the "big move" for a while now. I am actually welcoming the change and I am truly excited that I am going to be ableto see him everyday. I like the fact that I get to fall asleep and wakeup with him there. I think this is really going to work because we are both pretty independent people. We like our space, but we like each other, too. Neither one of us gets angry or upset when we want alone time or would rather hang out with just or friends.
I love him like I have never loved before. I thank God everyday for bringing him into my life and allowing us to love one another the way and as much as we do. I'm sure that we will run into some rough patches while under the same roof, but that is what builds a good relationship. So far we have been able to handle everything in a very mature manner. Hopefully this will just get better with time.

Is he ready?

My boyfriend and I have decided to move into together. It's a big step; no a HUGE step. Ihave been here before and I don't want the same outcome as last time, but I am not putting up any walls this time. I am letting things happen as they happen. He, my boyfriend, has never reallyhad a "real" girlfriend. I love him to death and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I am beginning to question if he really is ready for a serious relationship or if he even knows what it means to be in a serious relationship.

He has been spending more time with his friends lately than with me. I know that he does not want the relationship to end, I just think that hedoesn't understand. I want him to hang out with his friends because I want to hang out with mine. When he does hang out with his friends, though he tends to drink too much and back out on plans that him and I had or he "forgets". I told him that he has a girlfriend now and he can't really act the same way he did when he was single. He said that he understood, but he pretty much dod the same thing again this weekend. He has really been letting me down lately and I am not sure what is going on. I have tried talking with him, but it doesn't really seem like it is going anywhere and now I am getting the feeling that he just tellingme what I want to hear, or what he thinks I want to hear. I just want the truth. I don't want him to think that I am whining or being a "girl". I have been going through a lot of stress at work lately and I am trying not to take anything out on him. I just want him to be there for me like I am for him and I don't feel like he is.

I just find myself questioning whether or not us moving in together is a good idea. What's it going to be like when we do? Will it be good because we will get to spend more time together or will he simply find excuses to get out of the house and be with his friends? Am I going to be like one of those girls you see on TV who has cooked a fantastic dinner and is left sitting at the table by herself watching the candle wax drip onto the tablecloth and finishing off the bottle of wine herself? This move will make or break the relationship and I don't think that he understands that.

Adaptability of Hair

So it seems that my hair has fully adapted to the humid hair of Houston, Texas. (Seeing as how I have lived here most of my life, I would have assumed that it would have happened earlier.)
This morning there was only a dewpoint in the low 50's (wonderful for Texas) and it actually felt really nice for it alreading being 72. I went through my normal "getting ready routine"; this involves me walking my dog. I figured that my hair would look fabulous since the weather was headed in that direction. When I went to the restroom this morning my hair was a hot mess! It was actually frizzy with fly aways! I tried to get it down with a little water, but it refused to cooperate with me. I can now only assume that my hair does not work well in nice weather anymore. Ha! Who would've ever thought?

This is it...well, it better be anyway

I found him. For real this time. I have found the perfect man for me. He is smart, funny, and sexy, and what matters the most is that he loves me for who I am. This is the first time that I have been truly open about who I am. I don;t feel like I have to act a certain way around him...I know that nothing I do or say is going to throw him off. He s just as crazy and retarded acting as I am and that is what I really love about him. This time it is different. It is so different than it was with my ex fiance. This love is real and true and feel like it is supposed to last forever--how can it not. I have it bad, too. I hate being away from him even for a few hours; I almost feel like a psycho because of it. I don't want it to go away, though, I like it; no love it! I don't want to be away from him and that is so strange for me. I like my "Tanya Time", but I don't really want that with him. I love spending all weekend with him. From Friday evenings at dinner to our Sundays on the pallet in the living room. I don't think that it gets any better than this.

I know it's mean, but...

I am a teacher and I know that some older teachers don't have the greatest sense of style, in fact, older people in general don't. But this colleague of mine just keeps me guessing everyday of the week.

I don't know how she puts her outfits together in the morning, but she has to still be sleeping when she gets dressed. She tried to add little "details" to her "outfits", but it just throws them off all. Don't get me wrong, I am all about adding persoal touches to your outfits, but it still has to look good. I was leaving the teacher's lounge and walking back to my room this morning and she was walking to her's and I had to keep myself from busting out and laughing.

What really confuses me is when people such as parents or admninstrators complain about the way the younger employees dress when we have those people in the workplace who don't even match! At least I look professional. Just because I like to stick with the trends somewhat and not look like an old raggedy English teacher, doesn't make me a bad person. I enjoy looking good, and I think it helps me to my job better.

WOW! Is all I have left to say.

Today

So, I am really going to dump this guy (if he ever calls me back). That is really sad... What the hell was I thinking?

Anyway, I have also decided that I am going to be single for a while. I still need to "fix" myself before I can give someone else my all. I did have the best sex EVER this weekened, though! No one knows about it, and that is how I want it to stay. I didn't think that I would be able to find anyone as good as my ex-fiance, but I think I have. YES!!! I'm okay with having a bed-buddy; no strings attached. Sometimes it is so much better than being in an actual relationship. I think more people should do it. The world would be such a happier place to be. It's hard, though sometimes to have sexual relations with someone and not start having true feelings for that person. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is just sex and that is all. We will see what happens with this one. I really can't stop thinking about it, though....