I pat myself on the back--I have not called me ex at all this week. I know it does not seem that big of a deal to others, but for me, it is great. I have just been trying to keep myself busy so that I won't think about it. That is quite hard because I think about him all the time. It seems like anywhere I am at any time of day, there is something that I will see or hear that will remind me of him. Of course I still feel like I am at a disadvantage because that "other girl" is with him and I am still here and not even allowed to contact him, but I suppose that if him and I are meant to be together, it will happen.
I have begun reading the Bible. I have never read it before and I have always wanted to. I started a long time ago, but I just don't thik that I was really "ready". I am in a different state of mind right now and I feel like I am actually going to gain something from it now. When I am reading it and after, I feel a calm come over me. I want to drink up all the words and phrases I can. I know that truly akkowing God into my life is going ot help me. I can already see and feel the difference. It was so much easier than I ever thought it would be. I really feel like other people can see a difference, too. I want to stay on this path that I am on. I am ready to be the person I am supposed to be, but not what I think other people want me to be. All I can do at this point is listen to the words of God and follow what he tells me and I am willing to do that now.
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